The study, titled “Humans optimize decision-making by delaying decision onset,” showed that the human brain needs just 50 to 100 milliseconds to focus its attention on relevant information and block out all distractions. “This might be the first scientific study to justify procrastination.” - Dr. This small amount of time is all you need, according to a 2014 Columbia University study, to make better decisions. Remember: the right answer, “Let me get back to you” is always best. And, it gives you time to make the right choice. This is so much easier than doing it in person. Do whatever you need to do to buy yourself some time, then you will have some space to think about it and respond on email or text with a polite “no.” You can say that you have to check your schedule, your to-do list, or your spouse. Make a rule for yourself that if someone asks you for something, your default answer is always: “Let me get back to you.” It is CRITICAL for people pleasers NOT to give an answer immediately. Here’s the key: Delay the no (or give a well-thought-out yes).

Then you are angry, both at them AND at yourself for saying yes. Or when a colleague asks you to be a part of their project, you’ll say “okay,” but then immediately regret it. So when a friend asks you to help her find a new outfit, you default to “sure.” And then you agonize later: “why did I say yes!?” It’s extremely hard to say no to someone else’s personal request it’s even harder when you are a people pleaser.

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